I should clarify that I don’t have issues with any religion, just those individuals that take something great (teaching of the worlds religious “icons”) and turn it into a fundamentalist, literal and narrow minded dogma and base the fate of millions (if not billions) of peoples lives on it. 

[quote=babbling looney]Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor your pharmacist about Tequila.

Tequila is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Tequila almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, (well shyness anyway) and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila.

Tequila may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

Tequila. Leave Shyness Behind!!![/quote]

That deserved a re-print, Babaloo.  You speak as someone who has enjoyed the benefits of an occasional dose of Tequila .

Along with the above-published benefits, there is anecdotal evidence that tequila can turn you bed into an all-night merry-go-round an make otherwise unnattractive members of the opposite sex suddenly appear like the man/woman of your dreams .

I think Willy Nelson once said it best...

"Last night I went to bed at two with a ten and woke up at ten with a two."

"I never went to bed with an ugly woman, but I've sure woke up with a few."

[quote=babbling looney] Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila. [/quote]

 That's a good one. BTW, my favorite is Don Julio-Anejo.

[quote=dude][quote=Dirk Diggler][quote=mikebutler222][quote=dude]

Oh sh*t we have a bush lover on our hands.  I don't suppose you believe the world is only 8,000 years old too???

(I'm probably gonna get bashed for this one)

[/quote]

Gee, that would be a as dumb as assuming everyone who agrees with Bush believes that, wouldn't it? 

[/quote]

I gotta go with JobHopper on this one.

[/quote]

Yeah,  I want to entrust the fate of my country to the guy who believe's LITERALLY all that wacky sh*t in the book of REVELATION  and is waiting patiently to be God's tool (with his hand on the NUKE button) to bring in Armageddon .  For anyone educated on the issue the end times are supposed to be initiated by massive conflict in the middle east (hmmmmmmm) and fundamentalist christians live for this crap.  Also, I want a president who doesn't believe that our world is more than 8000 years old; it's a great sign of intelligence and the ability to comprehend.  In my book he's just as wacky as the fundalmentalist Islamists.  Great guy to lead the world's most powerful country . 

[/quote]

And you have proof that President Bush believes that the world is only 8000 years old and that he literally believes the "end days" are here.....how?  As they say in the on line games I play.....Show screenshots or it never happened.  On in not on line games...put up or shut up.

I guess you would rather lend credence to the Aitolas in Iran who believe this crap about an Imam in a well who is going to end the world. The same people who also are about to control nuclear weapons and have made no secret that they want to wipe us from the face of the earth.  

We had arrived at Jamkaran, a holy shrine outside the Iranian city of Qom and site of a water well where the 12th and last imam of Shia Islam, the Mahdi, is said to have disappeared a little over a thousand years ago. Many Iranians believe that the so-called hidden imam, or "imam zaman" (lord of all the ages), will at any moment choose this place to make his return to solve the world's problems. ..... thousands of pilgrims who flock to the shrine every week.

This knee jerk reflexive hating of Bush and stereotyping all people who even mildly agree with some of his policies as fundamentalist wackos is hindering our ability to function as a nation and is ultimately and perhaps mercifully going to end the Democratic party.

[quote=dude]  In my book he's just as wacky as the fundalmentalist Islamists.   [/quote]

I guess that's what knee-jerk Bush-hatred will do to an otherwise rational person  

I wish we had a seperate political forum…y’all are ruining a fun thread…

Yes, please don’t ruin it for everyone else.  Lets just keep it to jokes. C’mon folks.

[quote=dude][quote=Dirk Diggler][quote=mikebutler222][quote=dude]

Oh sh*t we have a bush lover on our hands.  I don't suppose you believe the world is only 8,000 years old too???

(I'm probably gonna get bashed for this one)

[/quote]

Gee, that would be a as dumb as assuming everyone who agrees with Bush believes that, wouldn't it? 

[/quote]

I gotta go with JobHopper on this one.

[/quote]

Yeah,  I want to entrust the fate of my country to the guy who believe's LITERALLY all that wacky sh*t in the book of REVELATION  and is waiting patiently to be God's tool (with his hand on the NUKE button) to bring in Armageddon .  For anyone educated on the issue the end times are supposed to be initiated by massive conflict in the middle east (hmmmmmmm) and fundamentalist christians live for this crap.  Also, I want a president who doesn't believe that our world is more than 8000 years old; it's a great sign of intelligence and the ability to comprehend.  In my book he's just as wacky as the fundalmentalist Islamists.  Great guy to lead the world's most powerful country . 

[/quote]

heeheuuhehee....Hey Beavis....he said "tool".....

If you are bored and want a few laughs this site has some really funny clips

http://www.devilducky.com/

[quote=skeedaddy2]Yes, please don't ruin it for everyone else.  Lets just keep it to jokes. C'mon folks. [/quote]

Well...when it comes to protecting our country and running the economy well, the Democrats are a joke!  I mean really, could you imagine Al Gore being president on 9/11?  Terrifying to imagine.

Then again.....he did invent the internet for us!

[quote=joedabrkr][quote=dude][quote=Dirk Diggler][quote=mikebutler222][quote=dude]

Oh sh*t we have a bush lover on our hands.  I don't suppose you believe the world is only 8,000 years old too???

(I'm probably gonna get bashed for this one)

[/quote]

Gee, that would be a as dumb as assuming everyone who agrees with Bush believes that, wouldn't it? 

[/quote]

I gotta go with JobHopper on this one.

[/quote]

Yeah,  I want to entrust the fate of my country to the guy who believe's LITERALLY all that wacky sh*t in the book of REVELATION  and is waiting patiently to be God's tool (with his hand on the NUKE button) to bring in Armageddon .  For anyone educated on the issue the end times are supposed to be initiated by massive conflict in the middle east (hmmmmmmm) and fundamentalist christians live for this crap.  Also, I want a president who doesn't believe that our world is more than 8000 years old; it's a great sign of intelligence and the ability to comprehend.  In my book he's just as wacky as the fundalmentalist Islamists.  Great guy to lead the world's most powerful country . 

[/quote]

heeheuuhehee....Hey Beavis....he said "tool".....

[/quote]

And Joe turns us back to humor  

[quote=joedabrkr]

[quote=skeedaddy2]Yes, please don't ruin it for everyone else.  Lets just keep it to jokes. C'mon folks. [/quote]

Well...when it comes to protecting our country and running the economy well, the Democrats are a joke!  I mean really, could you imagine Al Gore being president on 9/11?  Terrifying to imagine.

Then again.....he did invent the internet for us!

[/quote]

Not that I cared for Al Gore or John Kerry (I didn't and I'm definitely not a democrat) but protect our country? c'mon starting a war in Iraq had nothing to do with protecting our country.  When you have such a huge military and so much invested in the "military industrial complex" (to use the words of Eisenhower*a republican*, who BTW warned  of the consequences of our country building up a dominant military culture and econonomy)  it begins to seem like it's the only solution to a problem is to "fight".  Unfortunately, it's my humble belief that you can't win the kind of war we're trying to wage (which I think makes Vietnam look like a cakewalk). 

As far as keeping the focus of this thread focused on jokes, well it's my contention that Bush is the funniest f*ckin' joke there is.  Everytime I see him on TV I laugh my a*s off.

As far as my knowledge of his beliefs try this link:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/jesus/presiden t/spirituality.html

This is done by frontline and note the following quote:

The advantage of that is it gives someone like George Bush an absolute sense that there are absolutes in the world -- that the world is divided between good and evil; that the Bible is the absolute inerrant truth; that it is the word of God. …

I'm not going to proclaim that I know 100% that he believes in the literal timeline presented by the Bible.  I will say that it would be extremely odd for a fundamentalist Christian to believe that their Bible (and WORD of GOD) is not accurate, since it would fracture the foundation upon which their faith is based.

Anyway my 2 cents......

[quote=dude]...I'm not going to proclaim that I know 100% that he believes in the literal timeline presented by the Bible. [/quote]

IOW, got nothing. Now, back to jokes, you big lug 

[quote=dude]

I'm not going to proclaim that I know 100% that he believes in the literal timeline presented by the Bible.  I will say that it would be extremely odd for a fundamentalist Christian to believe that their Bible (and WORD of GOD) is not accurate, since it would fracture the foundation upon which their faith is based.

[/quote]

uh oh, my error. The above WAS A JOKE, because Dude was talking about JIMMY CARTER, right? 

3 Rules of getting older.



Never pass a bathroom,

never waste a hard-on, and

never trust a fart.

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons.



I do physical labor.

I work at great depths.

I plunge head first into everything I do.

I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

I work in a damp environment.

I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

I work in high temperatures.

My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

[quote=skeedaddy]I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons.

I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge head first into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.[/quote]

Mine just wants a job.

Ahhhh! The truth comes out!

[quote=mikebutler222]

[quote=dude]...I'm not going to proclaim that I know 100% that he believes in the literal timeline presented by the Bible. [/quote]

IOW, got nothing. Now, back to jokes, you big lug 

[/quote]

Agreed, talking too much about George Bush can be hazardous for your health...... and intellect.

hey its the

Dude

Dude-ster

Dudemeister



What’s up homey?