Top 10 Ways to Know if Your Stockbroker Is
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…He explains to you, with the exact same degree of sincerity and intensity as before, that THIS bank-buyout of his firm is REALLY good for both of you.
[quote=iceco1d]You know your stock broker is sleazy when…
You come home from work and you catch him in bed with your wife...or your daughter...or both![/quote] That may be a little sleazy, but what's really sleazy is when he bills you hourly for the time in bed with your wife and daughter.When the hedge fund your broker gets you into with consistent 10+% returns gets its own CNBC Presents show, The $50 Billion Heist
When the commission for the product they sell you is more than your best YEAR of income
When they pull out the…“I get paid in two ways” convo
When they pronounce your name wrong on the cold call during dinner
When they use the designation “CSA” and refer to it as something that took rigorous study and a comprehensive (er, open book) exam
When they refer to them self as an advisor, then take commissions, which technically means they are not an advisor
When they are the co-author of a book; or appeared on the cover of a magazine you’ve never heard of
When they refer to them self as a “well known financial educator” - only no one has ever heard of them
When they specialize in “safe money retirement money”…only to put their clients money into annuities issued by insurance companies that may be defunct in the next 24 months
When they pull out the American Funds ICA chart that shows 80 years of great returns to prove that you should just “hang in there” because clearly things will turn around
These are great... the last one is a classic.. I have had clients actually bring in that chart as part of their statements... sad... sad.... sad...When the hedge fund your broker gets you into with consistent 10+% returns gets its own CNBC Presents show, The $50 Billion Heist
When the commission for the product they sell you is more than your best YEAR of income
When they pull out the…“I get paid in two ways” convo
When they refer to them self as an advisor, then take commissions, which technically means they are not an advisor
When they refer to them self as a “well known financial educator” - only no one has ever heard of them
When they specialize in “safe money retirement money”…only to put their clients money into annuities issued by insurance companies that may be defunct in the next 24 months
When they pull out the American Funds ICA chart that shows 80 years of great returns to prove that you should just “hang in there” because clearly things will turn around
I read some of this stuff and think that I must be the king of sleaze. I use or have used some of these things in the past and have always thought that I was doing what is in the clients’ best interest and still believe that what I did was in their best interest.
Let's look at some of these sleazy things that I've done. I've slept with the wives and daughters of my clients. (I was single at the time, and I slept with the wives before they were married. As for the daughters, I slept with the daughters before the parents became clients. I've sold "B" shares. I've sold annuities inside of IRAs. I've made more commission on a sale than my client made in income in his best year. I've used the "I get paid in two ways" line. I've pronounced names wrong on cold calls. I've even pronounced my clients name wrong at times. I refer to myself as an advisor and I do take commissions. I don't specialize in "safe money retirement", but for people who want their money safe, I've used the guarantees of annuities. Does anyone know anyone who has ever lost money because of their annuity company going under? I know that it has happened, but I've never met anyone. I've never used the ICA chart, but I would if it would get someone who needed to stay invested to stay invested. Until now, I never knew that I was so sleazy and to think that I started my practice with the idea of always doing what was in the clients' best interests no matter what. My point with this is that we succeed in making us all look sleazy when we talk about others in our industry being sleazy. Look, I've done tons of things that are being considered sleazy, yet everytime, it was for my clients benefit. (Ok, screwing them (literally, not figuratively), benefitted me as much as it did them.)Hey anon - I think I can help with your confusion. See below in Red:
[quote=anonymous]I read some of this stuff and think that I must be the king of sleaze. I use or have used some of these things in the past and have always thought that I was doing what is in the clients’ best interest and still believe that what I did was in their best interest.
I've sold annuities inside of IRAs. Very rarely not sleazy; any advisor who understands the actuarial functions of most annuities would have a very hard time thinking they were in the best interest of anyone. Though, it is NOT always bad to do this. Easy litmus: if this is your first option or you do this for more than 50% of your clients - you are sleazy; otherwise, it may be okay...but probably not.
I've made more commission on a sale than my client made in income in his best year. Very sleazy, no questions, if you need an explanation than I'm sorry - there is nothing I can write that will help you.
I've used the "I get paid in two ways" line. Again, sleazy. Just saying it is sleazy. Not to say it doesn't work, but I personally would not work with a professional that uses this line.
I've pronounced names wrong on cold calls. I've even pronounced my clients name wrong at times. Happens. Cold calling in general is a little sleazy. Again, it works for some, but will get progressively more difficult as future generations accumulate wealth and become ideal prospects.
I refer to myself as an advisor and I do take commissions. Illegal, without proper disclosure that you duly licensed and when making commissions are not acting as an advisor and that there may be a conflict of interest, etc, etc, etc. If you do the disclosure route = not sleazy, just not good business sense; not using disclosure (like most brokers, agents, reps, etc) = sleazy.
I don't specialize in "safe money retirement", but for people who want their money safe, I've used the guarantees of annuities. Does anyone know anyone who has ever lost money because of their annuity company going under? I know that it has happened, but I've never met anyone. Should be happening soon. Annuities aren't inherently bad, just a lot of ignorant douches out there who make those who use them responsibly look sleazy.
I've never used the ICA chart, but I would if it would get someone who needed to stay invested to stay invested. Staying invested in some markets is okay. Most advisers...er, whatever people call themselves these days, have absolutely no clue when it's okay and when it's not. The people who have been blind to the last year = sleazy (when using this technique).
Until now, I never knew that I was so sleazy and to think that I started my practice with the idea of always doing what was in the clients' best interests no matter what. My point with this is that we succeed in making us all look sleazy when we talk about others in our industry being sleazy. Look, I've done tons of things that are being considered sleazy, yet everytime, it was for my clients benefit. (Ok, screwing them (literally, not figuratively), benefitted me as much as it did them.) Yeah....the deal is: most sleazy people don't think they're sleazy. Kinda like a lot of fat people don't think they're fat and stupid people don't think they're done. In the court of public opinion these items listed above are sleazy. Even ol' Bernie had good intentions with his Ponzi scheme; and most people who sell sh*t to people are stone cold sold it is appropriate. Occasionally it is a good idea to think long and hard about how we do what we do. For everyone (myself included) there are things we're not proud of, should change, and hopefully will.
[/quote]
[quote=brandnewadvisor]
Hey anon - I think I can help with your confusion. See below in Red:
[quote=anonymous]I read some of this stuff and think that I must be the king of sleaze. I use or have used some of these things in the past and have always thought that I was doing what is in the clients’ best interest and still believe that what I did was in their best interest.
I've sold annuities inside of IRAs. Very rarely not sleazy; any advisor who understands the actuarial functions of most annuities would have a very hard time thinking they were in the best interest of anyone. Though, it is NOT always bad to do this. Easy litmus: if this is your first option or you do this for more than 50% of your clients - you are sleazy; otherwise, it may be okay...but probably not.
I've made more commission on a sale than my client made in income in his best year. Very sleazy, no questions, if you need an explanation than I'm sorry - there is nothing I can write that will help you.
I've used the "I get paid in two ways" line. Again, sleazy. Just saying it is sleazy. Not to say it doesn't work, but I personally would not work with a professional that uses this line.
I've pronounced names wrong on cold calls. I've even pronounced my clients name wrong at times. Happens. Cold calling in general is a little sleazy. Again, it works for some, but will get progressively more difficult as future generations accumulate wealth and become ideal prospects.
I refer to myself as an advisor and I do take commissions. Illegal, without proper disclosure that you duly licensed and when making commissions are not acting as an advisor and that there may be a conflict of interest, etc, etc, etc. If you do the disclosure route = not sleazy, just not good business sense; not using disclosure (like most brokers, agents, reps, etc) = sleazy.
I don't specialize in "safe money retirement", but for people who want their money safe, I've used the guarantees of annuities. Does anyone know anyone who has ever lost money because of their annuity company going under? I know that it has happened, but I've never met anyone. Should be happening soon. Annuities aren't inherently bad, just a lot of ignorant douches out there who make those who use them responsibly look sleazy.
I've never used the ICA chart, but I would if it would get someone who needed to stay invested to stay invested. Staying invested in some markets is okay. Most advisers...er, whatever people call themselves these days, have absolutely no clue when it's okay and when it's not. The people who have been blind to the last year = sleazy (when using this technique).
Until now, I never knew that I was so sleazy and to think that I started my practice with the idea of always doing what was in the clients' best interests no matter what. My point with this is that we succeed in making us all look sleazy when we talk about others in our industry being sleazy. Look, I've done tons of things that are being considered sleazy, yet everytime, it was for my clients benefit. (Ok, screwing them (literally, not figuratively), benefitted me as much as it did them.) Yeah....the deal is: most sleazy people don't think they're sleazy. Kinda like a lot of fat people don't think they're fat and stupid people don't think they're done. In the court of public opinion these items listed above are sleazy. Even ol' Bernie had good intentions with his Ponzi scheme; and most people who sell sh*t to people are stone cold sold it is appropriate. Occasionally it is a good idea to think long and hard about how we do what we do. For everyone (myself included) there are things we're not proud of, should change, and hopefully will.
[/quote][/quote]
Whew, at least you didn't raise any objections to him sleeping with wives and daughters. ... Here at Jones, you can sleep with the wife -- and then then the daughter -- so long as you get a Switch Letter. (But you have to carefully note their sexual objectives.)