When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
>it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on
>someone you don’t know.
>
> It all started one day when I was sitting at my desk and remembered a
>phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.
>
> A man answered, saying, “Hello.” I politely said, “This is Chris. May I
>please speak with Robin Carter?” Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on
>me.
>
> I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.
>
> I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. I had transposed
>the last two digits of her phone number.
>
> After hanging up with her, I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.
>When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, “You’re an @$$hole!” and
>hung up.
>
> I wrote his number down with the word ‘@$$hole’ next to it, and put it
>in my desk drawer.
>
> Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
>I’d call him up and yell, “You’re an @$$hole!” It always cheered me up.
>
> When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic ‘@$$hole’
>calling would have to stop.
>
> So, I called his number and said, Hi, this is John Smith from the
>Telephone Company. I’m just calling to see if you’re interested in the
>Caller ID program?"
>
> He yelled, “NO!” and slammed the phone down.
>
> I quickly called him back and said, “That’s because you’re an @$$hole!”
>
> One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
>Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
>waited for.
>
> I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The
>idiot ignored me. I noticed a “For Sale” sign in his car window, so I wrote
>down his number.
>
> A couple of days later, right after calling the first @$$hole, ( I had
>his number on <SPAN =hl>speed <SPAN =hl>dial ), I thought I had better call the BMW @$$hole,
>too.
>
> I said, “Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?”
>
> “Yes, it is.”
>
> “Can you tell me where I can see it?”
>
> “Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house, and the
>car’s parked right out in front.”
>
> “What’s your name?” I asked.
>
> “My name is Don Hansen,” he said.
>
> “When’s a good time to catch you, Don?”
>
> “I’m home every evening after five.”
>
> “Listen, Don, can I tell you something?”
>
> “Yes?”
>
> “Don, you’re an @$$hole.” Then I hung up, and added his number to my
><SPAN =hl>speed <SPAN =hl>dial, too.
>
> Now, when I had a problem, I had two @$$holes to call. But after several
>months of calling them, it wasn’t as enjoyable as it used to be So, I came
>up with an idea.
>
> I called @$$hole #1.
>
> “Hello.”
>
> “You’re an @$$hole!” (But I didn’t hang up.)
>
> “Are you still there?” he asked.
>
> “Yeah,” I said.
>
> “Stop calling me,” he screamed.
>
> “Make me,” I said.
>
> “Who are you?” he asked.
>
> “My name is Don Hansen.”
>
> “Yeah? Where do you live?”
>
> “@$$hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black
>Beamer parked in front.”
>
> He said, “I’m coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
>saying your prayers.”
>
> I said, “Yeah, like I’m really scared, @$$hole.”
>
>
> Then I called @$$hole #2.
>
> “Hello?” he said.
>
> “Hello, @$$hole,” I said.
>
> He yelled, “If I ever find out who you are!”
>
> “You’ll what?” I said.
>
> “I’ll kick your @$$,” he exclaimed.
>
> I answered, “Well, @$$hole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right
>now.”
>
> Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
>1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay
>lover.
>
> Then I called Channel 4 News about the gang war going down on West 34th
>Street.
>
> I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.
>
> There I saw two @$$holes beating the crap out of each other in front of
>six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.
>
> NOW, I feel better. Anger management really works.
>
>
>

Hey, Starka, that was a hoot! Thanks for making my day, especially since Hurricane Dennis is ruining it!

You up in the panhandle, Doberman?

[quote=Starka]You up in the panhandle, Doberman?[/quote]

Gotta love the Emerald Coast...in nicer weather, of course.

I had scheduled a trip to Destin for mid July. Dag nab it.

I have an old friend in Destin, and a couple in Live Oak.  They've all gone to high ground, but this might be curtains for their homes.

On the other hand, I'm glad you didn't take your vacation a little sooner, Rog.  It looks bad for the area.

Starka:You up in the panhandle, Doberman?

------------------------------------------------

Nah, I'm in soggy, windblown southwest Georgia. Peanuts and cotton, our claim to fame. 

[quote=Starka]

I have an old friend in Destin, and a couple in Live Oak.  They've all gone to high ground, but this might be curtains for their homes.

On the other hand, I'm glad you didn't take your vacation a little sooner, Rog.  It looks bad for the area.

[/quote]

I'll be down there several times this year. Family everywhere, from Panama City to Gulf Shores. I'll for sure be in PCB for the Iron Man.

thanks, Starka!  My n00bs will love it.

Mr Starka,

Me thinks u watch 2 much tv.  Try jogging dude.

Fort Walton here… that is funny

[quote=dogdooki]

Mr Starka,

Me thinks u watch 2 much tv.  Try jogging dude.

[/quote]

I watch almost no television, dog.  So much for what you "thinks".

Starka,

I live in Upper Hell, known to millions as Houston.  It duz get a little warm here, but I try to keep some sense of humor about me.  LUMF - or as we old guys say "Lighten Up MY FRIEND".  It's just a joke.  Didn't your mother love you?