Crap, now there I go getting sucked back in. 

[quote=exEJIR]

NASD Newbie/BEF/Put,

If either one of the parties is as worried (as you think they will be) that the event will be uncomfortable, human nature dictates that that person will bow out of the invitation.

[/quote]

The story was originally presented as the two of them did not know the other was invited.

Does that seem like a good idea, sort of a mean spirited joke to play?

Again, this is not about the people--it's about the stupid advisor who would do something like that.

What is the upside of creating a situation where people may be uncomfortable?

[quote=Indyone][quote=NASD Newbie]

[quote=Indyone]

On Starka, no...once again...sorry to burst your Bubble.  I know who Starka is, and he knows who I am.  When I was looking to make the jump, Starka was a wealth of information and graciously took some time to speak to me on the phone one night for well over an hour.  Both of us are independents.  We don't necessarily run our businesses the same, but I don't believe either of us cares to run an online forum.

[/quote]

Let me see if I have this right. You have no way of knowing if Starka could be a monitor or not, but you choose to believe not.

Is that right?

You're right...I have no way of knowing for sure, but I've been on his website and have spoken to him and the evidence is fairly compelling that he is who he says he is.

[quote=Indyone]

If I DID run this forum, rather than giving you the boot, at teh risk of being labled a censor, I'd delete your more insulting posts and try and leave as much good information as I could...hoping that you would learn to not cross the line while continuing to make meaningful posts.  Your experience and knowledge is valuable, but many people probably don't even read it because they assume (and rightly so 90% of the time) that it will be filled with insults and angry diatribes.

If you do a better job of staying on topic (which we aren't here), perhaps "newbie" will survive this time...

[/quote]

What would be an example of an "insulting post?"  Would referring to a branch manager as a leech be insulting?  Yes, I'd have to agree with that one.

Would referring to a home office vice president as "Vice President of Paper Clips" be insulting?  Ditto...that's also fairly insulting.

Just what is insulting to your sensibilities?  A lot of things are insulting...I just choose to let most of it roll off my back.  When I don't I usually end up in long time-wasting back and forth posts that I often end up regretting but seem almost powerless to stop...kind of like this one...[/quote]

I really don't want to get into a "but he started it" or "he does it more than I do", but that is my sense of what's happened here in the past.  You might view it as favoritism, but you haven't exactly come off as Emily Post in the past, despite your apparent awareness of manners and what is considered rude, and I think that's what's caused problems.  The "Vice President of paperclips" and "leech" comments, while funny to some of us, are understandably insulting to you, but I believe that they were in response to similar posts that you'd initiated ealier and with greater frequency.  I could be wrong, but that's my perception, and I believe that it's the perception of the majority of participants here.  A little bit of this once in awhile is all in good fun...you just have to know when you're overdoing it...

...fair enough?

[quote=joedabrkr]

lol @ Vice President of Paperclips.....geez I made it up and yet I'd forgotten it quite a while ago.

[/quote]

Don't flatter yourself Joe, the Vice President of Paper Clips was funny.  I simply asked IndyOne if it was something he thought was respectful since he was accusing Put Trader of not being "respectful."

I have a feeling that Put Trader, or whatever his name is, is so confident in his own skin that he is impervious to anything a lightweight such as you could launch.

At least he lasted for 35 years, you'll be gone by spring--just like Frosty the Snowman.

[quote=exEJIR]Crap, now there I go getting sucked back in.  [/quote]

...exactly...

I appreciate the constructive comments from the few of you. After reading those comments and thinking about this situation, I've decided to let things stand as they are.

If either of the divorced parties wants to embarrass themselves at a public function, so be it. We're supposed to be grown-ups here; therefore, I'll expect nothing less from the parties, behavior-wise.

Besides, we all live in a relatively small city. So, not counting my client event, the chances of these parties seeing each other in a restaurant, theater, store, etc. are very high. Therefore, they should get used to the idea that they're going to bump into each other, from time to time, and move on.

I'll let you know how it goes.

[quote=NASD Newbie]

[quote=joedabrkr]

lol @ Vice President of Paperclips…geez I made it up and yet I’d forgotten it quite a while ago.

[/quote]

Don't flatter yourself Joe, the Vice President of Paper Clips was funny.  I simply asked IndyOne if it was something he thought was respectful since he was accusing Put Trader of not being "respectful."

I have a feeling that Put Trader, or whatever his name is, is so confident in his own skin that he is impervious to anything a lightweight such as you could launch.

At least he lasted for 35 years, you'll be gone by spring--just like Frosty the Snowman.

[quote=doberman]

I appreciate the constructive comments from the few of you. After reading those comments and thinking about this situation, I've decided to let things stand as they are.

If either of the divorced parties wants to embarrass themselves at a public function, so be it. We're supposed to be grown-ups here; therefore, I'll expect nothing less from the parties, behavior-wise.

Besides, we all live in a relatively small city. So, not counting my client event, the chances of these parties seeing each other in a restaurant, theater, store, etc. are very high. Therefore, they should get used to the idea that they're going to bump into each other, from time to time, and move on.

I'll let you know how it goes.

[/quote]

This is such a stupid idea that it would amaze anybody who ever thought about the "right thing to do."  Actually not being raised by wolves should be enough.

Set the business nature aside for a moment.  Change the scenario to a Super Bowl party.

Anybody with an iota of class would not invite a fraternity brother and his former girlfriend to the same party.  It's just not done.

This business is particularly sensitive because you're dealing with people's money.

A lot of those who are reading this are kids. You are simply not old enough to have experienced things like losing friends because they got divorced--or the emotions that run through a divorced couple's world.

But most of you have probably broken up with somebody--a college romance that did not work out.  Think about that person.

Would you think the host was playing a mean game if you were invited to a Kentucky Derby party and walked in to see that ex standing there with his or her current significant other?

I am not saying you'd throw a temper tantrum or break down in tears--but you know as well as I do that when you left you'd be royally pissed off that you were put in that situation.

Even if you're not one of the two main players in the drama you will still form opinions.  "Geezus Bob, look who he invited to the same party?  He must have been raised by wolves."

If you are completely out of touch with what are commonly called "social graces" you will be one of those who adopts the "What's the big deal?" point of view.

But there will be others--especially women--who will actually be angry that the host put those two people into such an uncomfortable position.  When I last checked women were very important to a financial advisor--more important than men when you're in this for a lifetime.

Nobody is going to walk up and tell the host that they are so incensed by what is happening that they are going to transfer their assets elsewhere in the morning.  It's far more subtle.

Referrals don't come, negative things are said around town, they become far more receptive to listening to somebody else, the list is long.

Can you imagine the town doctor or lawyer--or even the car dealer--intentionally making some people uncomfortable, while inviting others to gossip?

Other than the bravado of "I'm going to do it anyway!  It could be real interesting, I wonder if I'll need the police?" what is the upside of creating a situation where several clients--or even one--leaves thinking you're a jackass?

[quote=Indyone]

[/quote]

Yep, I was up early.  Had to be at a 7:00 AM breakfast for GOP party activists.

Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

[quote=NASD Newbie][quote=Indyone]

[/quote]

Yep, I was up early.  Had to be at a 7:00 AM breakfast for GOP party activists.

Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.[/quote]

Well, Ben, at least we share politics...

[quote=Indyone][quote=NASD Newbie][quote=Indyone]

[/quote]

Yep, I was up early.  Had to be at a 7:00 AM breakfast for GOP party activists.

Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.[/quote]

Well, Ben, at least we share politics...

as in Franklin.

[quote=no idea]

as in Franklin.

[/quote]

You'd think a member of Mensa would know that.

[quote=NASD Newbie][quote=no idea]

as in Franklin.

[/quote]

You'd think a member of Mensa would know that.

[quote=NASD Newbie][quote=no idea]

as in Franklin.

[/quote]

You'd think a member of Mensa would know that.

[quote=joedabrkr] [quote=NASD Newbie][quote=no idea]

as in Franklin.

[/quote]

You'd think a member of Mensa would know that.

[/quote]

History was never my strong suit....

(Insert gratuitous emoticons here.)
[/quote]

A strong suit in history would make one able to identify Elbridge Gerry, but Ben Franklin?

How strong a suit does one need to know who Ben Franklin was?

Doberman, for what it's worth - we had two clients in messy divorce. Both stayed with us as clients, both felt the need to SHARE details. (gross ones)

Rep had conversation with both essentially saying...I don't tell him about what we talk about/I don't tell her about what we talk about and in the same token I WON'T tell you what I've talked about with him/her.

I'm not saying appreciation events are happy reuinions with hugging and kissing, but we certainly don't NOT invite one or the other. These people are adults not five year olds. We aren't referees. Hope you have a happy event! Host an open bar with mai tais and happy umbrellas!