I would consider moving to NJ if it were not for my wife and child. My wife is in the JPM investment bank at Chase Manhattan Plaza. She wants to continue to work so it is very important for her to be very close to home for reasons like nursing and child care. She works very hard and the time she does have with the baby is extremely valuable to us. We currently live directly accross the street from her office so she is able to come home at lunch and be with the baby. I certainly do not want to subject her to the commute of going into the city every day. Other reasons include closer proximity to her parents (Westchester) and all of our friends live in the city. Somehow we still lead very social lives with our friends .

JFK, just woke up (west coast summer work day at home desk)  and looked at  your post. Remembering how I started my biz in the year my child was born, and how the decades fly. If I was in your situation, after reading everything here, and knowing what I do now, I'd reconsider these words from above by BG:

And, then there's this: No contract means no non compete. You've got the keys to the kingdom. And, you've got the dirt on your bastard partners. l'd cut a deal, leave the firm and compete for the business. If you are even worth part of of what ML was paying you, I'd be willing to bet you end up with substancially more than 5%.

Lastly, your kids are only young once. Do what ever you need to do to spend time with them now. ( Become self employed, ie, independent.)

Consider doing the hard thing, break free, compete, thrive. Get your butt in gear and stop wringing your hands, this will be the hardest year of your life but there will be much time later on to go to the kid's soccer games and read the WSJ and think and write.

[quote=jackofalltrades]

Maybe one day a handshake will mean something in this biz... as long as I've been doing this though, it's just a means to pass around germs...

[/quote]

Wow, Hell will freeze over before that happens.

Sorry to hear about your team falling apart. But thanks for sharing maybe it will save someone else!

The advice your getting here from BG and Tenth, solid stuff. BG's analogy about trains and cars not only made me laugh, it's about as true/accurate as you'll possibly find. Hey, at least you have a dual income household... 

You've got two choices -stay or go. Either you or your wife should give up their job. You didn't mention who brings home more of the bacon. However, staying in Princeton, living someplace south of exit 5 on the turnpike will substancially reduce your living expenses. Not that it's cheap, just much cheaper. My house, located 80 miles north, more than doubles in price.  If wifey quits, there is a good chance you could make it on one income and your family has it's best outcome, one stay at home parent. You would be less than 30 minutes from the office, and close enough to the inlaws to make frequent visits. But, still far enough way to maintain sanity. And, beleive it or not Jersey isn't the end of the world. It's gotta lot goin' for it. If you don't believe me just ask Snooky and "The Situation!" Seriously, lots of good stuff here.

It's culture change, but you need to make a decision. People move all the time for career reasons. In this situation, you choice is career or living  location. Is living in NYC worth giving up a promising career?

OTOH, have you thought about getting your resume to other large NYC teams?

[quote=BondGuy]

And, then there's this: No contract means no non compete. You've got the keys to the kingdom. And, you've got the dirt on your bastard partners. l'd cut a deal, leave the firm and compete for the business. If you are even worth part of of what ML was paying you, I'd be willing to bet you end up with substancially more than 5%.

Lastly, your kids are only young once. Do what ever you need to do to spend time with them now. If you can't work it out with ML and you aren't willing to jump to another firm, then quit and get a job driving a truck where you are home every night for dinner. Yeah, i'm serious! Even if it means lowering your lifestyle, time with your kids is more important than money.

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I see two excellent choices laid out above. If your partners are taking advantage of you now they will again. I would go indy/back to ML and fight your team for clients or call it a day and take the kids fishing...

Update… Thanks for all of the comments everyone. Management has been fully involved at this point at it looks like they are not going to be the proverbial “freight train” that I thought they were going to be. Quite the contrary, its seems like they want to stay out of it as much as possible.

Management came back to me and said even though they agree it is unfair to me, in the absence of a written team agreement, they are going to split all of the relationships up based upon who claims ownership of the client. Obviously there is going to be a lot of overlap between the clients that I think I have a right to and the ones my partners think they have a right to. Under that scenario, I end up getting screwed out of my % of the book. I asked management if we could settle this in arbitration, naming my partners as the respondent, not my BD. The manager came back to me and said that I have every right to argue my share in arbitration with my partners being named the respondent. He actually seemed quite relieved when I said that I would not be naming my BD in the case. He understood that the firm policy regarding team splits is not exactly fair in all cases and how I would want an independent 3rd party to be part of the decision

He then suggested that I go down the mediation route first. The problem is that mediation is not free, what is agreed upon is not binding and it is very possible that no agreement is reached and it ends up going to arbitration anyway. I have some questions for all of you and it would be especially helpful to hear from those reps that have gone through arbitration and mediation:

Sorry for the long post and thanks for any advice