I think it's a crime that some people make more money than other people. It's not fair. We need true equality, as this ridiculous article in the New York Times (the official house organ of the left wing of the Democratic Party) points out. It's simply not fair that some people are rich and others are poor. So, as Obama is now unveiling his true "equality-of-outcomes" philosophy, let's get busy redistributing wealth.
But taxing income on the wealthiest one percent, who already pay 40 percent of all federal income taxes, according to the National Taxpayers Union, isn't apparently enough to cover gub'ment spending. So, let's tax soda. And, while we're at it, let's tax people who are prettier than average, since pretty people tend to get perks that other don't. And, anyway, it's just not fair that pretty people are prettier than others. So let's put a special tax on gyms, where pretty people go to take care of themselves and be pretty.
Also, let's put a tax on smart people; they often make more money than dumb people. I propose that we add 17,000 IRS agents, a sort of new tax police force, to enforce these measures. (What? Oh, right, ObamaCare will add 17,000 IRS agents.) and let's take more money from middle class people who, by accident of birth, might have been born to a two-parent family, forced to go to school, get part-time jobs and do well and not allowed to screw around and now have the benefit of having a decent life ---- because they were lucky enough to be born to people with actual standards. Let's tax 'em, it's a kind of inhereted wealth, work ethic, morals and etc. And then let's give it to people who are "unequal in their present outcome."