I think you answered your own question. I would call them or “run into them” and ask them. Here is what the conversation would sound like:

Hey Dr/Mr XXX, As you may know, I am a financial adviser. I spend a lot of time researching and studying my industry. I am curious...........why do you do business with Jo Blow, are you happy with the types of investments, what swayed you to him or her, and if there was one thing you could change about the relationship with him or her....what would it be? Then.........listen, listen and listen.

If you want a good COI, generally speaking, they need to be a client.

If you want a parent of a kid in the soccer team, pick up the phone and call him or walk over to him.   If you don't take action because you are worried about infringing on your relationship, you're screwed.   Here's how you do it and infringe on a relationship:   Phone call: You: "Hi Joe, blah,blah, blah, small talk, small talk, small talk...blah, blah, blah" Joe: "Blah, blah, blah" (while thinking, "What the heck does he want?" You: "Blah, Blah, blah" Joe: "Blah, blah, blah" (thinking, "hurry up and get to the point.  I'm not a chick with nothing better to do." You: "By the way....investment" Joe: "well I'm busy next week" (thinking, "I knew it was something")   For the rest of Joe's life, every time that you begin  a conversation with you, he's going to be wondering about the business aspect.   Here's how you do it without infringing: You: "Hi, Joe.  This is a business call......."   He meets with you or he doesn't.  You handle yourself in a professional business manner at all times when you have a business purpose.  The other times, you don't talk business unless the people you know socially bring it up.

[quote=gatorbruin]

I would like to open up a post for anyone who's had success with meeting with centers of influence,a friend who they know has money, or a parent of a soccer team they would love to have as a client, but doesn't want to infringe on the relationship they may have with that person.

I'm thinking of contacting some of these key individuals such as my doctor, accountants, lawyers, and interviewing them to determine why they do business with the person they currently use, what types of investments have they made, what swayed them to their current representative, and what they aren't getting they wished they could from their current advisor.   Any thoughts or recommendations?[/quote]   It takes time man.  I got my personal CPA to start referring me VA clients.  He hated VA's before I took a couple lunches to explain them correctly.  He's introduced me to about 15 different CPA's...I can't keep up with all of them.  I have an estate attorney that swears by FIA's.  She refers me all those clients.  I have her assistant's account, called to bring lunch as an "office warming" gesture and show a new product, assistant told me her friend wants to meet with me.  You have to know your sh*t too.  If you don't know an answer, never BS, just say you'll find out and get right back to them.   I've asked a lot of COI's why they refer and to whom.  The vast majority tell me they want to make sure their clients are well taken care of and their own name isn't tarnished.  Also, be a person that people like...sounds simple, but their are a lot of idiots out there.   Other than that, show your value.  Make it tangible.  And realize it will take a long time.

[quote=anonymous] If you don’t take action because you are worried about infringing on your relationship, you’re screwed.   Here’s how you do it and infringe on a relationship:

  Phone call: You: "Hi Joe, blah,blah, blah, small talk, small talk, small talk...blah, blah, blah" Joe: "Blah, blah, blah" (while thinking, "What the heck does he want?" You: "Blah, Blah, blah" Joe: "Blah, blah, blah" (thinking, "hurry up and get to the point.  I'm not a chick with nothing better to do." You: "By the way....investment" Joe: "well I'm busy next week" (thinking, "I knew it was something")   For the rest of Joe's life, every time that you begin  a conversation with you, he's going to be wondering about the business aspect.[/quote]   This is EXACTLY how every phone call/conversation has gone with a friend/former friend who tried signing me up for their Amway/pyramid scheme/primerica type program.  EVERY SINGLE TIME.  Its always someone I'd nod at or say "whats up" to in high school and now all of a sudden they take a great interest in my day-to-day life and I know the pyramid scheme pitch is coming any second.

[quote=3rdyrp2][quote=anonymous] If you don’t take action because you are worried about infringing on your relationship, you’re screwed.   Here’s how you do it and infringe on a relationship:

  Phone call: You: "Hi Joe, blah,blah, blah, small talk, small talk, small talk...blah, blah, blah" Joe: "Blah, blah, blah" (while thinking, "What the heck does he want?" You: "Blah, Blah, blah" Joe: "Blah, blah, blah" (thinking, "hurry up and get to the point.  I'm not a chick with nothing better to do." You: "By the way....investment" Joe: "well I'm busy next week" (thinking, "I knew it was something")   For the rest of Joe's life, every time that you begin  a conversation with you, he's going to be wondering about the business aspect.[/quote]   This is EXACTLY how every phone call/conversation has gone with a friend/former friend who tried signing me up for their Amway/pyramid scheme/primerica type program.  EVERY SINGLE TIME.  Its always someone I'd nod at or say "whats up" to in high school and now all of a sudden they take a great interest in my day-to-day life and I know the pyramid scheme pitch is coming any second.[/quote]   A couple of my friends pulled the same sh*t on me.  The first time around, I didn't know what to expect.  But by the second time, I knew what was going on...and this was a long lost friend!  About 2 minutes into our meeting, I saw the snake come out of the grass.  I was like, "Why should I work with you when I could work with myself?"    I'm in a big city and hang out at establishments with people easily twice my age.  I'm easily the youngest one there, but I get introduced to some big time players in many different fields.  I have no problem being direct with people and asking them why they wouldn't do business with us.    Just call on a COI, and ask them something along the lines of, "I would love to get together, buy you a cup of coffee, and just tell you our story".  You tell your story, but make it tangible and easy for them to tell their clients.  They will never refer to you if they can't properly aticulate what you do and where your value is.