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In this classic sketch, John Belushi portrays Samurai Futaba, a stockbroker at Merrill Lynch, who advises a client on whether or not to sell his stocks. It’ll take you back to the times of ticker tape, briefcases, wall charts and Samurai swords.
Jon Lovitz plays the panicked client in this 1988 sketch, blaming his broker at Lambert & Fitch Securities for losing $78,000 in two weeks. The broker tries to divert attention away from the losses by stressing the personal relationship he has with the client. “Is this about money? 'Cause I know you; I know what you’re about. I’ve been in your house. I’ve met your wife. I’ve met your kids.”
This sketch from 2005, featuring Amy Poehler, Will Forte, Seth Meyers and Fred Armisen, could be a cautionary tale for advisors who get too involved in clients’ lives.
In this commercial parody, Alec Baldwin is a salesman for online brokerage Reliable Investments. A female client calls with questions about the firm’s “dividend growth fund” and mid-cap funds, among other things. Baldwin’s character eventually jumps out the window, saying, “It’s a great time to invest,” as he falls to the ground. It was 2001, after all.
In 2011, SNL spoofed Lincoln Financial’s advertising campaign “Hello Future,” in which a man sits down on an airplane next to his future self who talks about saving and financial planning. In one of the spoofs, Bill Hader sits down next to an overweight version of himself, who could “afford two tickets thanks to Lincoln Financial.” His future self made some good investments, but blew the money on too many steak dinners.
Chris Parnell portrays Peter Burke, CEO of Global Century Investments, who gives investors an honest look at Wall Street and the financial markets in “Straight Talk About Today’s Markets.” Some of his answers to investors’ questions may sound all too familiar, but I think we can all agree the industry has come a long way.
One of the best responses was to an investor asking why the firm moved out of stocks into bonds, while its brokers were telling people to do the opposite: “Well, obviously, if you think, as we did, that stocks are heading down, and you want to unload them before a crash, you have to convince somebody out there to buy them. That’s just common sense.”
Bill Hader parodies actor John Malkovich, who, in real life, had invested $670,000 with investment advisor Bernie Madoff. The sketch pokes fun at many of the characters Malkovich plays in movies, where he “speaks quietly then suddenly begins screaming.” By the end, you can see how angry he is over the losses.
This commercial parody may sound familiar; the founder of a brokerage house (whose name is also on the door) touts the firm’s tradition and market expertise. But this one comes with a twist. In the same somber voice, Arthur Grayson tells his employees about the firm’s longtime Secret Santa policies and how they should respond if his wife calls while he’s shagging his secretary.
This sketch, which hit at the height of the 2008 financial crisis, may be one of advisors’ favorites, as it points to the need for a stockbroker in down markets. It parodies the hit television show from the 1980s, MacGyver. Instead of helping folks to diffuse a bomb that’s about to go off, MacGruber, who hasn’t checked his stock portfolio in a while and doesn’t have a broker, is trying to log in to his brokerage account to check his portfolio. But it literally blows up in his face, much like the economy and the markets during that time.
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