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Feb 24, 2009 12:12 am

thanks for asking mr prospect… lately I have been drinking way too much and huddling under my desk in the fetal position… but when I’m not doing either one of those activities I suffer from intense call reluctance and question my chosen profession…

Feb 26, 2009 12:19 am

Help ensure you money doesn't run out untill the backhoe operator bushes the dirt over the second grave... 

Feb 26, 2009 5:40 am

Chuck,

  OMG that is funny...   I pissed in my pants laughing...I am using that for the rest of the year..! Thanks making my month...
Feb 26, 2009 2:45 pm
sumwatt:

Just be like this guy.

  Where do you buy that jacket??
Feb 28, 2009 6:00 am

"I slowly grow addicted to mild pain medications while treating chronic migraine headaches I incur from staring at the dull glow of a Tablet PC while never leaving my house to study for the General Securities Representative Examination. I am a Financial Advisor Trainee."

That usually piques their interest.
Feb 28, 2009 6:06 am

Who talks to prospects for 3 minutes?  A conversation that long is reserved for clients only.

Mar 15, 2009 4:21 pm

You are assuming that the individual making the pitch has clients!  

Nov 25, 2009 3:17 am

Since I've been reading forums and most of your (Squash1) replies have looked a little like this when anyone asks a question in the NEWBIE section so here you go.......... ROOGLE

It's difficult to post from my office because it's like the CIA where we can't scratch our sack without getting a computer virus warning of something being blocked.

Sorry Squash1, I couldn't help myself.
Nov 25, 2009 3:32 am

No big deal… that was over a year ago… Are you at a wire?(i am assuming by your screen name you are)

Nov 29, 2009 5:57 pm

I make sure my clients can eat steak and avoid working at WalMart when they retire.  

Dec 2, 2009 8:08 pm
newnew:

yeah “I sell Life Ins”-----that’ll work!

  It does.  My only variation, "I sell life insurance, but I do a heck of a lot more as well."  Which many times invites, "what else do you do?" or a specific question/comment about life insurance.   How you answer the "what else do you do?" question depends on who you are speaking with.  My most common variations:   "I help people save more money.  Most people would like to save more money, but need help figuring out where they can find the money or how to save more efficiently."   "I help people save more money and reduce their tax bill.  For example, this year the Roth conversion rules are presenting a unique opportunity."
Dec 2, 2009 8:37 pm

" I’m way overqualified to be doing this work, but I’m good at it and I have a nice life.

  My clients get state-of-the art asset management and experienced, comprehensive financial advice. We position assets for the long term, using indexes and sophisticated but simple strategies. You might find someone who is cheaper or more efficient, but I doubt it.   This is about trust, and personal service. We're proactive in thinking about the market and your account, and you can call me.   Best case, we'll be working together for a long, long time. I've had a lot of adventures in my life, and don't plan to retire early - I'm just like you probably are, I enjoy a balanced life and I don't think you ever "get there". It's a journey.   If you just want some information, I'll ask my assistant to send it out. You need to get me your statement if you want an investment proposal - we could go over that at a nice lunch place or my office if you want to check that out. Better yet, why don't youi fax over a copy now and I'll be better prepared to help you understand where you stand?   The minimum is fifty thousand, there are breaks in the fee at one hundred thousand, two fifty, and one millioin. I try to be fair to everyone, obviously I have to be careful with my time and work with folks who are a good fit, since I mainly work by referral only, I try to help a lot of different folks - multimillionaires, and people like you and I - I shouldn't assume you're not extremely wealthy. Maybe you just want to replace one of your weak advisors.   Where's a nice place for lunch near your office?
Jan 6, 2010 4:55 pm

I help people make money when the markets go up, but most importantly, I help protect them when the markets go down…

Sep 17, 2010 9:19 pm

I'm a commishioned salesman ; who else do you know I can help?

Sep 30, 2011 4:09 pm

"Sign here, press hard because you are making 3 copies."

Mar 12, 2012 9:38 pm

I give away 60% of my earnings to my corporate master!

Mar 14, 2012 4:04 pm

[quote=Fud Box]

"I slowly grow addicted to mild pain medications while treating chronic migraine headaches I incur from staring at the dull glow of a Tablet PC while never leaving my house to study for the General Securities Representative Examination. I am a Financial Advisor Trainee."

That usually piques their interest.

[/quote]

I tell them I'm a stripper. 

That gets their attention too! 

Jul 31, 2012 5:50 am

[quote=Milyunair]" I’m way overqualified to be doing this work, but I’m good at it and I have a nice life.

  My clients get state-of-the art asset management and experienced, comprehensive financial advice. We position assets for the long term, using indexes and sophisticated but simple strategies. You might find someone who is cheaper or more efficient, but I doubt it.   This is about trust, and personal service. We're proactive in thinking about the market and your account, and you can call me.   Best case, we'll be working together for a long, long time. I've had a lot of adventures in my life, and don't plan to retire early - I'm just like you probably are, I enjoy a balanced life and I don't think you ever "get there". It's a journey.   If you just want some information, I'll ask my assistant to send it out. You need to get me your statement if you want an investment proposal - we could go over that at a nice lunch place or my office if you want to check that out. Better yet, why don't youi fax over a copy now and I'll be better prepared to help you understand where you stand?   The minimum is fifty thousand, there are breaks in the fee at one hundred thousand, two fifty, and one millioin. I try to be fair to everyone, obviously I have to be careful with my time and work with folks who are a good fit, since I mainly work by referral only, I try to help a lot of different folks - multimillionaires, and people like you and I - I shouldn't assume you're not extremely wealthy. Maybe you just want to replace one of your weak advisors.   Where's a nice place for lunch near your office?[/quote]

no hablo inglés

Aug 1, 2012 3:23 pm
Milyunair:

" I’m way overqualified to be doing this work, …DIV>

LOL… "I’m overqualified? Now THAT is too funny.

Amber